When I was twelve, I found out that the person I considered my best friend had started the “Kill Samuel Vimes Club”. This was not the first instance of her bullying me. When I was eleven she told everyone who had a a crush on, a completely devastating act during middle school. She would spread every secret I said. She and a group of people I considered my friends had bullied me into getting naked in front of them. She called me stupid, she belittled my interests, she has impacted my life in such a way that I still see effects of what she did to me manifest.
My middle school was divided into houses and sub-divided into teams. The houses employed the guidance councilors and the deans, the teams were groups of about 100 students with whom you shared teachers and classes, with the exception of a few cross-team classes (phys-ed, lunch, art, foreign languages). My entire team had used me as the butt of jokes.
I am not going to say I never recovered, I did. But neither will I say that I am the same person I was before this happened. Granted, it has been almost a decade since I was bullied by this girl and even if the bullying had never happened I would not be the same person. But other behaviors I recognize as ones she instilled in me: the idea that I always wrong, stupid, and my body and life is a joke for others to take amusement of are things I am still, nearly ten years later, attempting to break free of.
So why am I talking about this? Because two days ago an editor employed by Gawker Media made this tweet:
I am not going to comment on GamerGate, this is not what this is about. This is about this disgusting idea that it is justice for people you don’t like to be bullied. This is about how a member of a fairly large media conglomerate can face basically no repercussions after making an incredibly disgusting tweet.
I have stated before that I believe people should joke about anything they want, no matter how offensive. That’s not to say they shouldn’t get told off (I have a hard line at Holocaust jokes and racist jokes), but they should feel free to make them. This is not a joke. This is taking the very real trauma that people experienced and saying it should be perpetuated against others because you disagree with or do not like their hobbies.
I was bullied for being a nerd. And for the record: I got my first video game system when I was 11, I was convinced for a very long time that the PlayStation was some sort of car set (like Hot Wheels), and what I consider to be my first “real” game I purchased three years ago. But because I like fantasy, science fiction, and science people made fun of me. A particularly vivid memory is of me talking to a friend and a girl who usually made fun of me. About five minutes into the conversation, the girl got a disgusted look on her face and looked at me and my friend like we were scum and said “I can’t believe I just talked to you.” That one sentence had a profound impact on me. I learned that because of my interests I was less valid as a human being.
This one tweet has actually brought back a series of horrible, spiraling feelings for me. This person has validated my tormentors and has said that they were right to bully me. He has reaffirmed that I am less of a person because I like math and science. He has said that the tormentors of the young girls and boys who have different or “nerdy” interests are in the right because and that the children are deserving of what they are currently undergoing.
Bullying is life changing. It is probably the worst and most impactful experience I have ever underwent, and it is something that I am still fighting to undo to this day. I honestly have no response to Mr. Sam Biddle other than “Fuck you”. He has shown he has never been bullied and does not have the capacity to understand what it does. He did not make a joke about bullying, he validated every bully and told every person who has ever been harassed or tormented that they deserve what they get. This is unforgivable, and there is no apology he can make or price he can pay to undo what he said. And for every day here on out that Gawker keeps this man employed, they show that they are as awful as him.
Tip: On a first date, be as obnoxious and creepy as possible. If she objects and calls you out, say it was just a joke and to lighten up. If she doesn’t object, you know what level of awfulness you can get away with. Use that info to be a abusive dick without consequences in the future.
NOBODY DOES THAT EXCEPT CREEPY PEOPLE YOU RAGING MORON.
Or just crappy advice? Some Feminist in this site confuse me.
It’s misandry-mermaid. Why bother.
Reason’s Why You Shouldn’t Follow Misandry-Mermaid: A Guide